Book 1: Elves React To Human Inventions
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Chapter 1: The iPod
Narrator: Marella, Keefe, Biana, Fitz, Linh, Tam, Dex, and Sophie were in Sophie's room, waiting for Sophie's surprise.
Sophie: Okay! Listen up! Linh suggested that I bring some stuff that I had in the human world, so I went to Mysterium and retrieved them from my old home!
Linh: You all will thank me someday!!! (*smirks)
Keefe: YESSSS!!!!!! NOW WE CAN SEE ALL FOSTER HAS IN STORE FOR US!!!! (starts digging in Sophie's bag for cool items)
Sophie: (*notices Keefe taking her laptop) DON'T!!! I will show them to you one by one!!! First I will show you my iPod. (*plays music)
Fitz: I don't understand a single thing this is saying. I guess I forgot all my English!
Sophie: Oh! The song is FRIENDS by Anne - Marie. (*starts singing) "Haven't I made it obvious? Haven't I made it - "
Keefe: (*snatches iPod and turns on radio)
iPod: LOW 60'S IN LOS ANGELES, VERY CLOUDY WITH A HIGH CHAN -
Keefe: (*stares at iPod, confused)
Sophie: (*snatches it back and puts on other music and sings) "I'm just lookin' for some real friends. All they ever do is let me down - "
Dex: Okay can we play some other music here?
Biana: Ooohhh I found this song with a nice title!
Marella: Really? (*gets excited) What does it say???!!!
Biana: Um... I can't read it. Sophie? Translator please?
Fitz: And you said it had a nice title! (*elbows Biana)
Biana: Hey! It probably does! (*elbows him back and makes sure there isn't a hole on the side of her dress)
Sophie: (*reads title) The song is called "Thinking Out Loud". (*groans) Oh no... Not this one... So long ago... (I am not saying I don't like this song, I just need Sophie to dislike something.)
Biana: Please play it anyways!
iPod: So honey now, Take me into your loving arms -
Sophie: Okay now to the better music.
Biana: NOOOO I LIKE IT I WANT THE WHOLE SONG!!!!!!!
Sophie: Fine. Here are earbuds. Push the end through the hole on the bottom, put the two ends in your ears, and you can hear it by yourself.
Keefe, Marella, Fitz, Linh, Dex, and Tam: NO FAIR!!! WE WANT TO LISTEN TOO!!!
Sophie: Fine. (*covers ears)
Linh: It's really that bad? I don't think so!
Tam: Eh... It's okay. I like this one. (Tries to click on another song but misses and ends up clicking a what they thought was a terrible song)
Everyone but Sophie: UGH!!!
Everyone but Tam and Sophie: TAM HOW DARE YOU CLICK THIS HORRIBLE PIECE OF STUFF!!!
Tam: I'M SORRY!!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO CLICK IT!!!
Sophie: It is actually pretty good. (*starts singing) So it's gonna be forever! Or it's gonna go down in flames!
Marella: I actually think it is okay.
Tam: WHAT??? NO IT IS HORRIBLE!!!!!
Biana, Fitz, Dex, Linh, and Keefe: Oh yeah, it is okay!
Tam: Ugh. Someone save me!
Everyone: (*cracks up) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chapter 2: The Laptop
Narrator: After Sophie took a whole hour to calm them down from the iPod laughter, she began to take a flat object out of the bag.
Dex: What is that? It looks LAAAMMMMEEEEE.
Sophie: (*glares at Dex) It is a laptop. And it is pretty impressive for NON - TECHNOPATHS to be able to create this.
Dex: Okay okay. Jeez.
Linh: Can you guys just please get on with this already? I'm dying to know what it does.
Sophie: (*opens laptop and types password)
Fitz: What the... What are you doing???
Sophie: Typing the password.
Keefe: Ooooh I want to know the password!!!
Sophie: (*stares) Do you know what a password is?
Keefe: Yeah. (*smirks)
Sophie: Then tell me. (*smirks)
Keefe: Well... uh... it is a word that you use for something.
Biana: (*rolls eyes) SPECIFY
Sophie: A password is like a key. You type the word in and you are in! Now, what do you guys want to do? (*searches up google maps)
Dex: Woah! What is that? Look at these green spots and stuff.
Sophie: It is a map. Hold on... (*types in an address she remembers gasps)
Marella: What?
Sophie: (*starts crying)
Keefe: Uh... I think we just started playing Make Foster Cry. This is one of the rare times I've seen her cry.
Everyone but Sophie and Keefe: (*glares at Keefe then looks at Fitz, who has seen her cry a billion times)
Keefe: What??? The computer won the game, didn't it?
Tam: Sure, if we are actually playing that.
Keefe: Yeah we are, next time we are going to play Make Bangs Boy Cry.
Fitz: (*looks at screen) I think I know why. I've seen her cry at this house before. Her human house.
Sophie: Be right back. (*scurries to the bathroom)
Keefe: Well, while Foster is gone, let's look at her stuff! Maybe she has something about how much she needs me!
Linh and Marella: Yeah! Let's do that!
Everyone except Sophie: (*opens bag and starts fiddling with her stuff)
Sophie: (*walks back to her room)
Biana: Hurry! She's coming!
Everyone except Sophie: (*puts things back except for her laptop, and, unintentionally forgets about her pack of CDs)
Sophie: (*walks back in and sits back on the ground)
Everyone except Sophie: (*tries to look innocent)
Sophie: So, I assume you behaved well while I was gone. (*notices CD pack a moment afterward) Or... maybe not.
Keefe: Oh! Um... Iggy took it out. (*puts CD pack back into bag)
Sophie: (*looks at everyone skeptically)
Everyone except Sophie: Fine. Sorry.
Sophie: DON'T do that again.
Keefe: Oh my... I feel a lot of frustration coming from you, Foster.
Sophie: (*glares)
Keefe: What? Just saying!
Sophie: Okay now back to the topic: This is a laptop, and it types. Now, since you all ruined your chance by sneaking into my stuff, I'm not going to explain anything else about the laptop. (*grins evilly) MWAHAHAHAHAHA
Everyone except Sophie: Awwwwwww
Keefe: Party pooper!
Chapter 3: The Radio
Narrator: Now that Sophie's friends were punished, Sophie was satisfied. She took out her radio and immediately regretted it.
Sophie: Never mind, since the iPod didn't go well, I'm not going to bother even telling you about this.
Everyone except Sophie: Awww...
Biana: Pleeeeeaaaaasssseeee???
Sophie: FIIIINNNNEEEE
Biana: AND
Sophie: (*sighs) This is a radio.
Biana: AND
Sophie: It does stuff.
Biana: SPECIFY
Sophie: Fine. It plays music.
Marella: Like the iPod???
Sophie: Only it doesn't have a screen.
Keefe: Okay well this isn't as cool.
Sophie: What do you expect? This was invented earlier than the iPhone! (*turns it on)
Radio: (*booms out loud blaring music)
Everyone: (*covers ears)
Everyone except Sophie: TURN IT DOWN!!!!!!!!! TURN IT DOWN!!!!!!!!! TOO LOUD!!!!!
Sophie: (*turns down music) Okay, now let's see... Ah ha! Got it!
Radio: Little do you know, How I’m breaking while you fall asleep, Little do -
Keefe: (*falls asleep and snores loudly) ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
Dex: (*wiggles him up) Wake up, sleepyhead!
Keefe: (*startled by Dex) Woah! (*topples sideways on to the radio)
Radio: (*switches to different station) ABCDEFG, HIJKLMNOP, QRSTU -
Sophie: (*switches back to other music) Well you only need the light when it's burning low, Only miss the sun -
Tam: AWWWW I liked that other song!!! (*starts singing) ABCDEFG, HI -
Linh: I'm not gonna bother offending you, but you have the worst taste in music EVER!!!
Tam: (*glares at Linh) I DO NOT!!!
Linh: YES YOU DO!!! YOU SAID THAT THAT OTHER SONG BY SWIFTY TILLER WAS TERRIBLE AND THAT THE ABC SONG WAS GREAT!!!!!
Sophie: It's Taylor Swift. Not Swifty Tiller. And yes, Tam, you have the worst taste of music ever. Let me show you another song... (*switches radio stations)
Radio: That's what a hamburger's all about!
Sophie: Whoops... Didn't mean that... (*looks horrified)
Tam: Oh my I love this song!!!
Keefe: For once I agree with Bangs Boy. (*starts dancing)
Sophie: Ugh. Both of you have a terrible taste in music.
Linh: (*covers ears)
Biana: (*runs out of room)
Everyone else: (*hides in closet)
Keefe and Tam: WHAT??? IT'S A GREAT SONG!!!!! Oh no! It's over! Awwwww!!! So short!!!!!!!!!
Chapter 4: The Sketchpad
Narrator: Finally, Sophie was able to introduce the next item, her sketchpad. Everyone was bored this time.
Dex: Okay, no offense, but that flat board with the random things hanging around is officially the lamest technology item anyone can ever have.
Marella: Yeah. It is. Why aren't the figures moving???
Sophie: Because it isn't technology! I told you I would bring human items, not human technology items! (*smirks)
Dex: (*slaps his head with his hand) I knew that!
Sophie: Trust me, if you were a human, you would be fired from any job because everyone would be complaining about your overly - high technology standards! This is a human item, Dex, not some type of fancy elf technology!
Linh: Can we get on with this already???
Sophie: Not yet, I have to give Dex the human item lecture first. So, as I was saying, (*continues lecturing Dex)
Everyone: (*glares at Dex and waits patiently)
Sophie: So if you were human, you -
Dex: Blah blah blah. Yeah I get it. Now can you just get on with this piece of junk???!!!
Sophie: (*gives Dex the death glare) So, this is the sketchpad. It is used to draw. I got it once from my human mom to help me when I'm bored. The beginning pages are drawings from when I was like three.
Keefe: Oooohh!!!! Sounds fun!
Sophie: (*flips to back and shows her friends her best drawings)
Keefe: Eh, lame. I want to see the beginning ones.
Sophie: Believe me, those are just scribbles.
Keefe: (*snatches sketchpad and flips to beginning pages) Huh? What does this say?
Sophie: (*reads words and turns red) Uh... nothing!
Biana: (*looks skeptically at Sophie) Sophie? I don't need to be an empath to be able to go lie - detector on you. Actually, everyone can tell you're lying!
Keefe: Well you have an empath anyway. And Foster, you can't lie to an empath.
Sophie: (*horrified expression and then exasperated expression) Ugh fine. It says "My First Art Notebook" spelled into "Mai Frst Art Notbuk".
Everyone except Sophie: (*laughs) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sophie: (*turns into a ripe strawberry)
Keefe: Okay, now to the actual drawings. (*flips page and gasps) Oh my Foster! This is an amazing work of art!!!!!!
Sophie: (*rolls eyes) For an elvin artist, you seriously have the worst taste of art imaginable. Of course, that isn't a surprise, seeing how much you loved that advertisement with the worst music possible.
Keefe: (*looks shocked) But they are really pretty!
Marella: I have to agree with Sophie. You do have the worst taste in everything, after all. Actually scratch that, everything but your hair.
Keefe: Awww, is Redek girl complimenting my hair?
Marella: (*turns red)
Sophie: This is getting off topic. Point is, Keefe has the worst case of "worst - taste - itis". You seriously need to see the back drawings. (*snatches sketchbook back and shows her actual drawings to Keefe)
Everyone except Sophie and Keefe: Awww, no fair! We want to see your drawings!
Keefe: Eh... they aren't that good. I liked the other ones more.
Sophie: (*rolls eyes) Somebody call Elwin.
Chapter 5: The TV
Narrator: Sophie got the idea of bringing out a TV out of her bag from Mary Poppins.
Sophie: (*carries TV out of bag)
Everyone except Sophie: (*stares in silence)
Tam: (*drops jaw)
Sophie: (*pretends to not notice) What?
Marella: You are carrying, um, a oversized laptop out of a small bag... (*stares)
Sophie: Oh. Yeah. It is a T - AHHHHHH!!!!!!!
TV: (*falls out of Sophie's arms)
Fitz: (*catches it with telekinesis)
Marella: It is a T??? That is a weird name.
Sophie: No, it is a TV. Short for television.
Marella: Oh.
Sophie: Now, where is that remote??? It has to be in here somewhere.
Dex and Marella: What is a remote? (*blushes, stares at everyone but each other)
Linh: A remote? Okay... confused.
Sophie: HERE IT IS!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!! (*dances around)
Everyone except Sophie: (*stares then tries not to laugh)
Sophie: Sorry, got out of control.
Keefe: (*smirks) We can see that.
Dex: Okay, that is the trashiest piece of stuff ever.
Sophie: (*glares at Dex) Human items, Dex. Human items.
Biana: We are moving on from the TV to the remote already??? You haven't shown us what the TV does yet!
Sophie: Uh, no. The remote controls the TV.
Tam: Where is the keyboard???!!! OH NO, IT IS MISSING!!!!! (*starts looking around Sophie's room, going as far as running out of the house)
Sophie: (*rolls eyes)
Linh: Pardon my brother, he goes crazy sometimes.
Keefe: Oh yeah. I can totally see Bangs Boy going like that.
Everyone except for Keefe and Tam, who is still outside running: KEEFE we can also see you doing that.
Keefe: Um... I'll be right back. (*runs outside screaming his head off)
Tam and Keefe: (*Screams in harmony) AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone except Keefe and Tam: Ugh, someone close the window. (*covers ears)
Dex: (*walks over, accidentally steps on remote)
TV: (*turns on, showing Mr. T)
Everyone except Keefe and Tam: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! TURN OFF THE TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE!!!!!!!!! (*runs outside screaming)
Keefe and Tam: Ugh, so noisy. (*goes back inside and sees Mr. T and screams) AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Sophie: (*creeps upstairs and turns on Mary Poppins) Guys come here! Mary Poppins!
Biana: Popping Marie??? Who is that???
Sophie: Mary Poppins! Here is the best scene!
TV: (*shows scene of Mary taking out gigantic stuff out of bag)
Marella: I wonder what this scene reminds me of. Hmmm... (*fake thinks)
Everyone except Marella: (*stares silently)
TV: (*shows scene of Mary measuring personality)
Keefe: I bet I am the handsome, kind, and smart one!
Tam: Probably the opposite.
Everyone except Keefe and Tam: SHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Keefe: Okay jeez!
TV: SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS!!!!!
Sophie: YAY MY FAVORITE SONG!!!!!!
Everyone: (*stares, confused)
Chapter 6: The Alarm Clock
Narrator: Sophie spent two hours watching the movie, and yet she didn't realize it. Everyone else was asleep by then. So she fell asleep too.
Alarm Clock: BRRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG BRRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG BRRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG
Everyone: AAAAHHHHHHHHHH (*wakes up, startled)
Alarm Clock: BRRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG BRRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG BRRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG
Everyone except Sophie: TURN IT OFF, SOMEONE!!!!!!
Sophie: Whoops. (*scrambles to turn it off)
Alarm Clock: BRRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG BRRRIIIIIINNNN -
Sophie: (*searches frantically in bag full of human treasures and turns it off)
Keefe: What was that, Foster? That gave us a heart attack!!!
Sophie: What? It was an alarm clock. Don't tell me that elves don't use alarm clocks!!!
Everyone except Sophie: Elves don't use alarm clocks...
Sophie: (*slaps forehead) Then don't tell me you don't know what an alarm clock is!!!
Everyone except Sophie: We don't know what an alarm clock is.
Sophie: (*slaps forehead again) Fine. It is a human clock used to wake people up by making noises.
Dex: (*yawns) Does it put us to sleep? Because I need some right now.
Everyone except Dex: GOOD MORNING DEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sophie: It doesn't put you to sleep.
Dex: WHAT??????? I TAKE MY PREVIOUS STATEMENTS BACK, THIS HAS OFFICIALLY BECOME THE LAMEST THING EVER!!! NOT JUST LAME, BUT USELESS AND TERRIBLE!!!
Sophie: (*looks angrily) DEX THIS IS HUMAN TECHNOLOGY!!! NEED I REPEAT MY LECTURE FROM YESTERDAY???!!!
Dex: (*cowers in fear) I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm very sorry! I will do as you wish!
Keefe: Wow... Foster's hard on us.
Sophie: I'm not, I'm just strict.
Biana: Uhhhhhh... Soph, that is like almost the same thing...
Sophie: Fine. I'm not strict OR hard on you, but this is a human thing. Humans don't have abilities like Technopaths, Telepaths, and Vanishers, and Dex, you seriously have to respect that. I repeat, THIS IS A HUMAN THING!!! (*coughs)
Dex: I'M SO SORRY SOPHIE!!! I AM SO VERY SO -
Sophie: OKAY I HEARD IT!!! (*coughs again)
Tam and Linh: (*covers ears)
Keefe: Wow. If she isn't hard on us, well, she certainly has a loud voice.
Fitz: Good thing her room is soundproof. Okay, I know what you are probably thinking. (I may or may not be a telepath.) Let's just pretend it is soundproof.
Sophie: That wasn't for the screams. That was because of the nightmares.
Marella: Honestly? I think your nightmares are enough. You don't need alarm clocks.
Sophie: I guess it is true, but I don't know. I wake up in time.
Linh: Sure. Who was the last to wake up yesterday morning? I think we had to dump a bucket of ice water on her.
Sophie: (*shivers at the thought)
Keefe: (*laughs) Okay, I give you guys a dare. Tonight, I will not sleep with the boys, instead I will be waiting at the door for their reaction to that alarm clock. Tomorrow night, I will do the same to the girls.
Everyone except Keefe: HOW ABOUT WE ISOLATE YOU IN A BEDROOM AND WAIT FOR YOUR REACTION???!!!
Keefe: Wow. (*surprised) You all are hard. How about we do it to you, Foster?
Sophie: (*shrugs) I'm used to it.
Everyone except Sophie: OF COURSE YOU ARE!!!
Chapter 7: The Camera
Narrator: Sophie put away the alarm clock, and took out an oddly shaped black thing. It was not very heavy, but it wasn't lightweight either.
Sophie: (*takes out camera)
Everyone except Sophie: (*stares)
Camera: (*flashes white light)
Everyone except Sophie: WOAH
Keefe: Jeez Foster, next time you try to scare us, use something else.
Sophie: Wow. I never knew that my friends were scared of a simple camera!
Biana, Marella, and Linh: A camera?
Sophie: Something used to take pictures. See? (*shows pictures)
Keefe: I never knew I was so handsome! (*adores his own hair)
Tam: And I never knew you were so ugly!
Keefe: It's opposite day! Ooh! Bangs Boy is complimenting me? That is a first! (*smirks)
Tam: It isn't. You said, "It's opposite day!" If you wanted to say that, you should have said, "It isn't opposite day!" So it isn't opposite day today. (*smirks back)
Sophie: Shut it you two!
Linh: Jeez can you two just get along for once?!
Sophie: Okay, so this takes pictures. It is kinda like what elves with photographic memory can do, but only anyone can see it. It also is more gadget - y.
Dex: WOOOHOOOO!!!!!! (*feels proud)
Everyone except Dex: Dex?
Dex: The camera is complimenting my ability!!!
Sophie: It isn't. It is just pure human genius.
Dex: I never knew humans could do that. I bet I could do a better job.
Sophie: Of course they could do that! And need I give my speech to you for like... the fifth time?
Dex: You were counting? (*horrified expression)
Sophie: Yeah! I was trying to see how far I could go with my human sharing without dropping the whole thing!
Linh: Uh oh...
Sophie: ANYWAY... this is a camera, and, well, you get it.
Fitz: I heard about something called "selfies".
Marella: Oooh! Sounds cool! Even though I don't know what it is.
Sophie: Oh. It is where you take a picture of yourself.
Keefe: Ooh!!! Can we try that? (*doesn't wait for an answer and snatches camera)
Sophie: KEEFE!!! YOU GIVE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!!!
Keefe: (*turns camera around and snips a picture of himself)
Camera: (*flashes light)
Keefe: AAHHH!!! I'D RATHER FEEL FOSTER'S INFLICTING THAN THIS!!!
Sophie: (*picks up camera and laughs at Keefe's picture) Keefe! Look at this!
Camera: (*shows picture of Keefe squinting with a shocked expression)
Everyone except Keefe: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
Keefe: Lemme see! I bet it is really good! (*looks at picture)
Sophie: You can take back that statement actually.
Keefe: (*looks at picture with horrified expression) Um... (*turns into a ripe tomato)
Everyone except Keefe: HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keefe: Um... Be right back! (*runs outside screaming again) AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone except Keefe: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (*continues laughing)
Chapter 7: The Goodbye Card
Narrator: Sophie accidentally stashed a goodbye card in her bag. It was for one of her only friends, Chloe.
Sophie: What is this? Oh yeah...
Biana: Show it to us!
Sophie: Um... It is kinda sad...
Marella: Show us anyway!
Linh: We want to see it too!
Sophie: Fine, here it is. (*hands over card)
Marella: We can't read anything.
Keefe: Foster, read it to us!
Sophie: Noooooooo!!!!!!
Fitz: Please, Sophie? I forgot all my human languages!
Linh: It shouldn't be that bad. Please? (*puppy eyes)
Sophie: It is! It is sad! Very sad!!!
Dex: I seriously think this is a terrible thing, so get over it already! We should move on from this -
Sophie: Need I repeat my speech again? And yes, I need to try to get them to get over this.
Dex: - AFTER I make a gadget that makes you read it to us. (*smirks evilly)
Sophie: (*horrified at the thought of things attached to her brain, like human medical things)
Dex: (*gets up, prepares to leap home for materials)
Sophie: Fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine!!!!!! Give the card to me! I seriously need to get this done as soon as possible!!!!!!
Fitz: (*smirks evilly) No, we actually are going to make you say it very slowly.
Sophie: And I thought you were the easy one!
Fitz: Was I really that easy on you? Huh. Good advice.
Sophie: No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!!!!!!!!!
Fitz: Hmmm... What else can I do?
Keefe: Make her say it in a sparkly unicorn dress!
Sophie: Stop distracting me! I seriously want this over now!
Biana: Then read it!
Sophie: Ugh fine. Dear Chloe, You have been an awesome friend and will miss you very much. You will always have a place in my heart. Thank you for all you have done for me. I hope we can still meet each other sometime. Love, Sophie. (*says it very slowly)
Biana: (*wipes away tears) Awww!!!
Tam: That is like the saddest thing I have ever heard!
Keefe: I never knew Tam had the word "sad" in his dictionary!
Sophie: Keefe, seriously. She was like one of my only friends in the human world. And yes, sad is a word in every dictionary... or maybe not yours. (*smirks)
Keefe: (*looks offended) I surrender!
Dex: Okay, now I allow Sophie to put that away. In fact, I want her to put it away before I cry! Or maybe we all need a crying moment.
Sophie: Yeah... I think we all need a crying moment.
Keefe: I can tell that you still miss her.
Sophie: Don't say the name!
Keefe: Chloe. (*smirks)
Sophie: (*starts crying)
Chapter 8: The Textbook
Narrator: Sophie showed everyone a human textbook that she used as a high school senior.
Sophie: Well this is a human textbook and it is filled with incorrect information. I advise reading it if you want to learn fake information.
Fitz: I remember something about two stupid guys name Eye N. Stine and Al Bert. (*rolls eyes)
Sophie: Albert Einstein was a scientist and yes, he may have thought of incorrect stuff, but he is smart for a human. Understood?
Fitz: Fine.
Sophie: When can you realize that these are human items? Especially ONE PERSON. (*glares at Dex)
Dex: Sorry. (*grumbles something about stupid humans and stuff)
Sophie: Good. Now, I will do exactly what I just said, and read this textbook. (*flips book open) Theory of Gravitation. Wrong. Fitz already said that the Theory of Relativity is incorrect, so.
Keefe: Theory of Relativity? What? This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard!
Marella: What? Okay, this makes no sense. Theory of Gravitation? Stupid. (*eye roll)
Dex: Who in the world came up with the Grivitition Thory thing?
Sophie: Sir. Isaac Newton came up with it.
Tam: What about the relatives one?
Sophie: The Theory of Relativity? Albert Einstein came up with that.
Fitz: Oh the stupid guy. (*eye roll)
Sophie: (*scowles) Don't be Dex.
Fitz: Okay fine.
Dex: Hey! I'm -
Biana: Terrible. Seriously Dex. Can't you just do what she says and stop talking about how stupid humans are? You too, idiot brother Fitzipoo.
Fitz: Hey!
Biana: (*smirks)
Linh: Okay... what now?
Sophie: I think we are having a debate on human stupidity.
Tam: Yeah.
Keefe: Really? Cool! I'm in! (*gets excited)
Sophie: No.
Keefe: Humans are stupid, ridiculous, crazy, weird, and -
Sophie: Keefe!
Keefe: What? Masters of stupidity and most importantly, -
Sophie: AND that will be enough.
Keefe: (*whispers) Stupid.
Sophie: KEEFE SENCEN WHAT DID I JUST HEAR???!!!
Keefe: What? Stupid!
Sophie: If you repeat that -
Keefe: Stupid
Biana: (*grumbles) Really Keefe?
Sophie: Now, since Keefe decided to do exactly what I don't want him to do, no further discussion of this textbook will occur.
Everyone except Sophie and Keefe: REALLY KEEFE SENCEN???!!! UGH!!!
Chapter 9: The Confetti Shooter
Narrator: While Sophie searched in her bag, Iggy was freed by Keefe as a prank. Iggy ran loose and on to a confetti shooter. The trigger was hit, and...
Sophie: UGH!!!!! (*wipes confetti off face)
Iggy: Squeak.
Keefe: (*smirk)
Sophie: YOU KEEFE SENCEN!!! WHY???!!!
Keefe: (*mimics Della) Oh I don't know what happened. Maybe Keefe let Iggy loose out of the cage?
Fitz and Biana: (*whips head around, expecting to find Della) MOM?!!!
Marella: It was Keefe.
Sophie: (*imitates Grady) HOW DARE YOU LET IGGY LOOSE? I WILL SEND YOU HOME IMMEDIATELY!!! SANDOR?
Sandor: Yes Ms. Foster? (*prepares goblin stars)
Sophie: Sorry that was my imitating Grady.
Sandor: (*nods and walks out)
Keefe: Hey Gigantor, do you know any more prewsfs fer fofer
Sophie: DON'T YOU DARE!!!
Biana: What even was that?
Sophie: Confetti. I'm assuming elves don't have confetti, right? (*puts Iggy back)
Dex: Yes.
Sophie: Then I expect you to be on your best behavior while I explain.
Tam: (*mumbles) Like that would ever happen with Keefe here.
Keefe: Oh woah Bangs Boy! I'm super offended!
Linh: To be honest, I agree with Tam.
Everyone but Keefe, Linh, and Tam: Same.
Fitz: Hey, dude, be good today.
Sophie: Okay, so this sprays confetti. (*holds up confetti shooter) And it is super cool. See? (*shoots at Keefe)
Confetti Shooter: (*shoots confetti)
Keefe: Oh wow! Be respectful Foster!
Sophie: Your punishment.
Linh: (*steals shooter and sprays confetti at Iggy's cage)
Confetti Shooter: (*shoots confetti)
Iggy: SQUEAK!!!!!!!!!
Teal Confetti Strand: (*wraps around Iggy)
Biana: Aww!!! Doesn't Iggy look gorgeous? His cage is also fit for a party! (*gushes)
Dex: Ugh. I prefer orange.
Sophie: Honestly, he is decorated. Imp party next week?
Linh: Yeah!
Biana: Totally!
Marella: Awesome!
Grady: (*bursts in) DID I HEAR IMP PARTY???!!! NOT ALLOWED!!!
Sophie: (*grabs shooter and shoots at Grady)
Confetti Shooter: (*shoots confetti)
Grady: Ugh. What was that?
Sophie: Relax. It only shoots confetti.
Everyone: (*laughs) Hahahahaha!!!!!
Chapter 10: The Chocolate Bar
Narrator: Grady left them, grumbling about how Sophie was turning into "that boy". Then, Sophie searched in her bag and found chocolate. She looked around and decided to be greedy.
Sophie: (*secretly opens wrapper)
Dex: Hey, what's next?
Sophie: Um... (*shoves chocolate into mouth)
Marella: What are you doing?
Sophie: Muffing.
Biana: Are you... eating? (*looks to the side)
Sophie: Nuh uh
Fitz: Don't make me do this!
Sophie: (*finishes) Nooo -
Sophie's mind: Uh oh... I have to finish the rest of the chocolate!
Fitz: What is chocolate? (*smirks)
Sophie: Um...
Dex: Human candy.
Biana: SOPHIE ELIZABETH FOSTER!!!
Marella: How do you know?
Dex: My mom's human movies. (*winks)
iPod: HERSHEY'S CHOCOLATE BARS 2 IN ONE PACK!!! ONLY $3.99 EACH!!! ONLY $3.99!!!
Keefe: (*smirk)
Sophie: (*glares) Ugh fine. I'll give you a share of my chocolate.
Tam: I CALL WHITE CHOCOLATE!!!
Everyone except Tam: What???!!!
Sophie: (*clears throat) You said white chocolate, right?
Tam: Yup!
Linh: Actually, I want the dark chocolate.
Everyone except Linh: What???!!!
Linh: And I'm serious.
Sophei: (*gives everyone a piece of their flavor chocolate)
Tam: Linh, can I have a tiny bit of your dark chocolate?
Linh: Sure! (*chips off a piece)
Tam: (*eats it) Eh. I like white chocolate more.
Linh: Can I try some white chocolate?
Tam: Sure. (*chips off some white chocolate)
Linh: (*eats it) Eh. I like dark chocolate more.
Keefe: Holy gnome I love this piece of milk chocolate! Or maybe I should say Holy Chocolate.
Sophie: Since you ate all my chocolate up, you all, except Fitz, have to pay me 30 lusters.
Everyone except Sophie: What?
Fitz: (*grins)
Keefe: Aww no fair!!!
Dex: (*grumbles) Wonderboy.
Biana: Why does my idiot brother get it for free?
Tam: Not fair!
Sophie: And Fitz has to pay me 50 lusters for sneaking into my brain.
Biana: You idiot brother Fitzipoo!
Fitz: (*grumbles) Seriously Biana.
Book 2: Elves React To Websites
Chapter 1: YouTube
Narrator: Sophie took out her laptop.
Sophie: (*take out laptop)
Biana: Didn't we already see that?
Tam: Wait - Oh good, the keyboard is there.
Linh: Tam, don't run outside again, or I will spray the saltiest water in your face, actually, that matches your behavior. But it stings your eyes! (*smirks)
Tam: Uh oh... (*creeps away from Linh)
Sophie: (*opens YouTube)
Marella: What does that say? (*peers at it)
Sophie: YouTube. (*says it casually)
Fitz: YouTube? Um... Weird...
Sophie: It kind of is, to be honest.
Keefe: YOUTUBE!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! YOUTUBE!!! -
Everyone except Keefe: SHUT UP!!!
Keefe: Ooh some strong words!
Sophie: Okay!!! Let's google a song. Which one?
Biana: Blank Space
Tam: Ugh noooo
Sophie: Okay!
Laptop: Nice to meet you, where you been? I could show you incredible things. Magic, madness, heaven sin, Saw you there and I thought... (*continues with the song)
Tam: (*screams) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Linh: (*sprays water and smirks)
Tam: Ugh. I never knew a twin was so evil.
Laptop: (*finishes song) And I'll write your name.
Tam: Finally.
Linh: (*sprays more water and smirks)
Tam: Ugh.
Sophie: I KNOW!!!!! (*searches up Annie Leblanc and clicks on Photograph)
Laptop: Maybe yes, maybe no. Maybe found my other half. Maybe all we are is a photograph.
Sophie: I LOVE THIS SO MUCH
Linh: WOOHOO!!! (*dances around)
Biana: I seriously need to give myself a makeover and sing it.
Marella: How much for one makeover? I need one.
Tam: Ewww, I hate it so much.
Linh: Ewww, Tam is so disgusting with water on and has no music sense at all.
Laptop: (*finishes song) Maybe all we are is a photograph.
Fitz: That song was okay.
Dex: Yeah. It was fine.
Biana: Are you two kidding me? It was A M A Z I N G ! ! ! Although I didn't understand...
Keefe: Let me search for the song Amazing Keefe. (*reaches for laptop)
Sophie: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Chapter 2: Search Engines
Narrator: Sophie and her friends are still playing with the laptop.
Sophie: Oh well, besides YouTube, I'm going to search something else.
Keefe: (*jumps in)How do you search it? With a human version of a spy-ball?
Tam: Why would you need a Human spy-ball to search something? I'm sure humans can be more intelligent than that.
Keefe and Tam: (*glares)
Biana: (Nervously asks)How are you going to search it?
Sophie: Something called bing.com
Keefe: (*gigles) Bing? More like BlingBlingBling SPARKLES (*Makes a poof-ing sound)
Fitz: (*cracks up) What are you going to search?
Sophie: Banana lyrics. You know like (*starts singing) Banana ooh nana
Tam: (*covers his ears) You're horrible at singing, No offence
Sophie: Thanks. (*starts typing)
Dex: You're a fast typer.
Fitz: Typer? Weird.
Linh: Someone who types I guess.
Sophie: Found it! It says (Starts singing again)
Banana ooh nana
half of my heart is in
Banana ooh nana
Linh: Hate to admit, but that's funny. Never knew humans have humor.
Sophie: Oh humans have a lot of humor..but not as much as Keefe’s though
Keefe: (*Starts to protest)
Sophie: (*Quickly says)Anyways this lyric is not enough, let me check on google.
Dex: How many search engines does humans have? (looks at the laptop with awe)
Sophie: A lot, but google is one of the most popular.
Biana: well…what did we find?
Sophie: (*Starts singing)
Banana Ooh nana
Half of my hunger is in Bananas Ooh nana
He took me back to eat Bananas nanana
I hope my heart is in Bananas
Bananas Ooh nana
Keefe: (*covers ears) Bangs Boy’s right, you are horrible at singing.
Linh and Biana: (*Laughs) Maybe she isn’t, but it’s funny.
Tam, Fitz, and Dex: (*tries to hold back laughter, but couldn’t)
Keefe: (*eyes lit up) Hey! Maybe the human version of a spy-ball have information about how adorablel I am! I’m going to search for Keefe Sencen! (*reaches for the computer)
Tam: No one’s interested in you in the human world you know…
Keefe: Not true! I will prove you wrong Bangs Boy! (*turns to Sophie)Foster, help me type Keefe Sencen on the BlingBlingBling-spy-ball.
Sophie: (*Roll her eyes)Bing you mean..I’m pretty sure no one knows—
Keefe: Why don’t you just search it?
Fitz, Sophie, Biana, Linh, Tam, and Dex: (*sighs)